The Tower Door

Agcat97's picture
Submitted by Agcat97 on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 17:37

Princess Allete stood at a door. To an ignorant eye, there was nothing much different about it than any other door - it was simply a piece of wood hung on hinges - but there was one thing that made that particular door special. It held magic.
Since the day she was born, Allete had never lived a normal life. In fact, she was what some called an enchanted princess. She could not speak, but she could sing with a voice as lyrical as a bird’s. Though this may not sound like such an unfortunate situation, the young princess had grown quiet and withdrawn throughout the years since she could never say what she was thinking without singing it and drawing unwelcome attention to herself.
But the best part of enchantments is that they can always be broken. Inside the tower that Allete stood in, there was a room that waited behind the locked door. No one knew how long the tower had been there, but it was said that the room at the top of it would open on the princess’ seventeenth birthday, which was now only a month away. But if someone tried to break down the door before it opened on its own, the magic would vanish.

Comments

Michelle K's picture

Michelle K

02/14/2013 - 18:51

I love your story so far! I would definitely want to read more, but I think it might help if you described the tower in more detail- is it tall? old? new? Maybe describe the door, too.

KimberlyRae

02/14/2013 - 11:37

I absolutely love how you went traditional fairy tail with this! I honestly would probably not like this if it were done any other way but for some reason this is just perfect. Her enchantment is so unique and I couldn't imagine having to live that way and it makes me really feel for your MC even though i still don't know her very well yet. I want to read more!

Cathy B

02/13/2013 - 17:05

Awesome opening! I'm a big sucker for fairy tales so I liked this opening right away. It has an air of mystery about what's behind the door and it makes you wonder about why the princess is standing in front of the door only a month away from it opening. Hopefully she won't ruin it by forcing it open now!

I did find it a little confusing in that the princess is standing in front of the door in the first sentence but then there's no reference to this in the last paragraph where the door's location and other tidbits are provided. Also one spelling correction: I think "princess" should be "princess's", but I'm not sure.

Agcat97's picture

Agcat97

02/13/2013 - 19:09

Thanks for pointing that out! I had never thought about it before. Does it make more sense now that I made some changes?
By the way, thanks for your comment on "Shattered" as well. :-)

Cathy B

02/14/2013 - 11:12

Yes, I think it ties the scene together very nicely now! It's really impressive that you have 4 very different stories here, and all of them are so engaging in their own unique way.